Regardless of our cultural background and beliefs, this time of year is generally a time of renewal and loving connection and celebration with loved ones. Despite this, there are all sorts of reasons why this period can be a tricky time for many of us. We may not have partners, families or loved ones to spend time with over the holiday period or on Xmas day, and many of our usual activities are suspended. This can sometimes give rise to the surfacing of deep feelings of sadness, loneliness and disconnection. Some of us come from families that don’t always fit the picture perfact post card image, and conflicts and grievances can also be heightened at this time. Others of us may be grieving the loss of beloved ones or experiencing illness or ongoing ill-health or financial difficulty.
Whatever your circumstances, here are some suggestions to support yourself through the holiday period:
•Make a plan. Consciously decide what you will do on Xmas day and over the holidays. Do what feels right for you, not just what’s right for everyone else. If uncertain, talk it over with someone objective. Preferably, don’t just leave if to chance. We all have more choice than we might imagine.
•If you don’t belong to the perfect family, if other people aren’t behaving lovingly towards you, or if you are on your own, you can behave lovingly towards yourself! You can, on the inside, be your own much loved family or friend during this period. Do nice things for yourself, be kind to yourself.
•Make an effort to connect with people you care about and let them know that you care. We can all create loving families of choice, alongside our actual families of origin.
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•Reach out and offer support to someone who may be having a difficult time over the holidays.
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• If you find yourself in the presence of people whom you find difficult, attempt to stay conscious and connected to yourself, breathe, and decide not to take other people’s difficult emotions on board. I find it helpful to remind myself that we are all imperfect vessels of perfect love…(!)
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• Attend to your own difficult emotions (talk to a friend, get out in nature, write in a journal, talk to a therapist, meditate…!!)
Whatever you do over the holidays, I wish you a peaceful, loving and fun holiday period. My love and warm wishes to you.